Wow, I Can Get Sexual Too

     As I grow older the things that I notice are different between male and females seem to grow and grow. One of those things I have noticed recently is sex. During puberty and my 8th grade sex ed class it was stated how boys may have these "urges" and its perfect normal to act on them aka masturbation. None of this urges were addressed to the females in the room. You saw the same in media/tv shows it always showed boys watching porn and boys jacking off in their room to a Carmen Electra poster. When I hung out with my guy friends they would talk about who they wanted to bang or how they fingered their girlfriend while if I said anything sexual I would get met with a laugh and a stare. It doesn't help that I live in a family where sex is something that is never talked about so I always conditioned to think sex/masturbation was taboo. During puberty I found myself ashamed of the urges and thoughts I was having pushing them down into the basement of my mind. Why is it when a girl is sexual its seen as being a whore while when boys are sexual its totally normal and expected? I hate to break it to you but we think about sex a lot actually.

Until about a few days ago I had never masturbated. I know this is probably tmi but just hear me out. I realized what is the point of not confronting these urges...where they painful to others? Were they unnatural? The answer was No. I read advice columns that made me realize there was nothing to be ashamed of.  I no longer feel like there my vagina is a "no no" zone. It isn't an area I have to be afraid of. 

Another thing that seems to be perfectly normal for men but not for females, at least in societies eyes is sexual thoughts/attraction. Even something as innocent as crushes is an example of this. I have many celebrities on my crush list and if one of them was one TV and I would gush over them I was met with my brothers saying "Get a room! God your are so gross." It wasnt like I was like "oh man I wish I could fuck that guy", I would just be like "Dangggg he is such a cutie, I cant even." Now I ask you to imagine if it was a boy who gushed over a woman he found "hot" would he be met with the same reaction? NO. Why does society make such an effort to smash women's sexuality? Just because we dont get hard everytime we see a boob doesnt mean we dont have urges or get turned on.

So my main point is don't be ashamed of your feelings. Whether you have urges or not. There is nothing wrong with exploring and finding what gets you off. Watch porn! Sexuality/being sexual isn't a boys only club. I wish it wasn't seen as so taboo for a woman be sexual,or shamed.

"Girl Power" vs Feminism

So as I child I was obsessed with the spice girls, I had the movie on VHS, the greatest hits CD, the magazine from a concert my older sister went to etc. There was one phrase that was always repeated and followed by a peace sign "Girl Power!". Now that I’m older I wonder what this exclamation really means. As I become a feminist and looked into people I had always admired and claimed they believed in girl power I read the things they said that seemed to contradict that statement such as how Ginger Spice herself, Geri Halliwell, said, “For me feminism is bra-burning lesbianism. It’s very unglamorous” and this wasn’t an uncommon reaction. I was disappointing and frankly didn’t quite understand the difference between “girl power” and feminism. But I think I’ve come to a conclusion. Girl power is a watered down,pacifist, way to say you believe in women’s rights issues,without taking the responsibility of the reactions you may receive and your beliefs. Its the media’s version of a way to profit of feminism without things getting too out of hand or people becoming to involved. Apparently feminism is a bad word (I even heard someone refer to it as the “f word”) but if we dress it in pink, stick some flowers on it and call it “Girl Power” its alright.

My Beef With No Shave November

     So it’s november, you know what that means constant comments of girls and boys saying "girls this doesn’t apply to you if you don’t shave don’t expect the D!" This upsets me on so many levels. Firstly I don’t shave or not shave for you or your dick, so stop being so full of yourself. You don’t dictate what I do with my body. It really is none of your business and you have no place of judging it. Guess what we have body hair..we were born with body hair, deal with it. It isn’t gross or unnatural,its a sign of age (remember puberty?). I’m not going to spend hours on end while halfway cutting my leg open just so some guy will have sex with me or some girl with accept me. I shave for myself, I don’t shave for myself. No one else. You wouldnt want someone coming up to you and saying “OH MY GOD YOU SHAVE YOUR LEGS EWWW YOU ARENT GETTING LAID ANYTIME SOON!” I don’t want your dick or want you to be friends with me if you have the attitude of “ewwwwwww” grow up and get over yourself.

On Retro Sexism,Excuses, and Bullshit

     Retro Sexism (n.): Modern attitudes and behaviors that mimic or glorify sexist aspects of the past, often in an ironic way.
     Today while watching tv with my brother (who is the same age as me,16) there was someone acting stupid on the show we were watching. He blurted out "wow what a retard.". When I yelled at him for the ignorance of that comment he proceeded to say "I was just kidding, I didn't mean it that way shut up." 
     This may seem unrelated to sexism and such but it isn't. This is very similar to how companies use something called retro sexism (definition above). Basically you know that they are kidding so it's okay. This is not the case at all. Just because something offensive is said with a laugh or in a humorous ways that doesn't take away the offensiveness of the comment  or action. It is extremely immature and ignorant. 
     Along with this excuse there is the common excuse of "boys will be boys" and the like. That is not an excuse for completely ignorant and idiotic behavior. It is extremely offensive to other men who do not act that way to assume that behavior is just part of their DNA.
     I am honestly sick of this bullshit. Of the excuses that society provides for just unnecessary behavior. Be responsible for what you have done, admit to your mistakes, and ask for help to learn better. The true measure of character for a person is how they react when they make a mistake. It's inevitable as humans we will always make mistakes. But those who make the same mistakes over and over again in my opinion are fools and will be stuck in the same ignorant cycle for a very long time. 
    I am bit sassy today, but as courtney love once said "I'm not going to apologize for offending you. Actually, I think you should thank me."  Have a great night! 

Mr & Mrs _______

It still seems so odd to me when you get married you lose your name and identity and adopt your husbands. it seems unfair honestly. Say I married a dude named John Smith…they would announce us as Mr & Mrs John Smith. I have no name, I am his property.It’s odd and seems outdated to me. I have a lot of accomplishments tied to my name but I lose them all when I get married. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t want to ever get married or that I hate men etc. but I hate that system of doing it. When women keep their last name they get treated differently I promise you. They get asked why they would do that to their husband when he probably doesn’t mind. Just some thoughts.

Body Hair

This is a topic that has been bugging me and I get a lot of shit for this and my mom strongly disagrees with me on this. (She says that all women should be clean shaved like boys aren’t allowed to makeup which is another topic in itself)

Ceedling ( aka Celia) wrote a very very very good post on this topic on her blog along with many great topics. (check out the article here) 

There was a girl on tv with unshaved armpits which  my mom made gagging noises and kept saying “how gross, how unclean, how ugly" every 10 seconds. I also made a tweet about this in which someone replied to me that body hair/armpit hair is gross on women and makes them smell bad. Here is my response/thoughts on the topic. It really isn’t gross. it’s a natural thing and society conditions us believe it is gross. it is a statement, a resistance. One should have the right to explore and blur the lines between what is strictly male or female without criticism. You have the right to shave or not shave but the main point is you do it for yourself. not for society, not for boys, not for other girls but for you.

My Thoughts on Abortion and Making it Illegal

So as a citizen in Ohio,a woman, and a human being, this is something that is really bothering me. To even consider outlawing abortion is ridiculous to me. Let me start on why I believe outlawing abortions won’t really help the “problem" that politicians believe it will. Outlawing abortions will not stop abortions just make them less safe. For some women abortions are the difference between life and death or poverty. Along with passing this and outlawing abortion, it states that rape counselors are not allowed to offer abortions as an option, also that doctors are supposed to lie to the women and tell them they will never be allowed to have children again. That is beyond ridiculous and disgusting. They will try their hardest to shame women into not getting abortions. Why I believe this is offensive to women is because the government doesn't trust that women make the choice to get an abortion it is what is best for her. To completely eliminate the choice of having an abortion seems completely unfair. Women are not children that do not know better, we should not be demanded to make a certain choice but allowed to have the freedom of making the choice for herself. If you don’t agree with getting an abortion then don’t get one, it’s as simple as that. But when there is a debate between two things you don’t just completely eliminate one option. 

But!

I am so sick of buts. some examples:

• I’m not saying they asked for it but they could have prevented it.
• I know they don’t have control over their disorder but they chose to be sick and made the choices. 
• I’m not saying its wrong to be homosexual but they will go to hell.
• Your body is great but you could she a few pounds, sweetie. 
• I know I say hurtful things but you just need to take it better and not be so sensitive.
• No offense but…

If you wouldn’t say it  without the but or no offense in it then don’t say it at all. An extra word doesn’t change the meaning, it still hurts.